Mark Webber today won the Best Actor award as he hid his utter hatred of Sebastian Vettel who has just waltzed in and bagged Red Bull’s first win after Webber has spent four years loosening the lid on the winning jar.

The race started in the wet behind the safety car, which is easily the most boring way to start a race, especially after the UK audiences getting up at 7am to sit through an hour of chat, the start sent most of us back to sleep.

Alonso was wide awake with panic though, he had just about enough fuel to get to the first corner. But Heikki relished the start, the safety car helping him get round the opening racing lap for the first time this year.

Nelson Piquet is doing what anyone does in a job they hate – trying to get fired, either that or his angling to play Frank Spencer in the Some Mother Do ‘Ave Em re-make.

Ferrari didn’t bother scoring a point, making this now their worst season start since 1981.

It kept raining, the safety car came again when Kubica tried to mount Trulli.

By the end of the race the Red Bull’s had the measure of the Brawns, iffy diffuser or not and Sutil was looking set to make the Ferrari’s the only team to have not scored a point, but the guilt of this got too much for him and he threw it into the wall.

After a bit or argy bargy the Bull’s were a headline writers dream (see how many times you read about a Bull in a China shop this week). And Vettel took his seconds win, surely no longer a star of the future, but just a star.

Classified:

Pos  Driver        Team                 Time 
 1.  Vettel        Red Bull-Renault      1h57:43.485
 2.  Webber        Red Bull-Renault      +    10.970
 3.  Button        Brawn GP-Mercedes     +    44.975
 4.  Barrichello   Brawn GP-Mercedes     +  1:03.704
 5.  Kovalainen    McLaren-Mercedes      +  1:05.102
 6.  Hamilton      McLaren-Mercedes      +  1:11.866
 7.  Glock         Toyota                +  1:14.476
 8.  Buemi         Toro Rosso-Ferrari    +  1:16.439
 9.  Alonso        Renault               +  1:24.309
10.  Raikkonen     Ferrari               +  1:31.750
11.  Bourdais      Toro Rosso-Ferrari    +  1:34.156
12.  Heidfeld      BMW Sauber            +  1:35.834
13.  Kubica        BMW Sauber            +  1:46.853
14.  Fisichella    Force India-Mercedes  +     1 lap
15.  Rosberg       Williams-Toyota       +     1 lap
16.  Piquet        Renault               +    2 laps

Fastest lap: Barrichello, 1:52.592

Not classified/retirements:

Driver        Team                  Reason
Sutil         Force India-Mercedes  Didn't want a point
Nakajima      Williams-Toyota       Satnav broke
Massa         Ferrari               Tantrum
Trulli        Toyota                Buggery