12:08:30 PM: Now we find out if reverse grids in f1 is a good idea or not… #f1

12:14:21 PM: spa looks like a raygun. that is circa terry 1989

12:18:08 PM: mark webber has had that cold sore for most the season, I reckon it’s his secret friend that makes him go faster

12:30:19 PM: rubens in pants, tshirts and a goatee. I want his calendar #f1

12:48:00 PM: The Spanish? Belgian blues national anthem sang by a drag queen.

12:48:29 PM: what a shit anthem #f1

12:51:26 PM: I’ve seen Ian Phillips face!

12:56:45 PM: RT @sniffpetrol: #F1 Where the hell does Brundle buy his jackets? World of Dennis Waterman? And Flav is George Cole…

1:01:12 PM: the old 8 mile spa was made into the current 4 mile version using winzip

1:07:41 PM: badoer is not last! #f1

1:09:20 PM: look at the friendly camaraderie from button and hamilton, or just watch them awkwardly avoid each other #f1

1:09:33 PM: RT @fakejenson: go back to gp2 you nasty ginger!

1:10:57 PM: don’t forget, Kimi has a fetish for crashing into Force India’s when they are in the points #f1

1:17:54 PM: oops, forgot to put kimi in my fantasy f1 #f1

1:33:18 PM: and again Toyota have shown exactly how to fuck things up #f1

1:34:06 PM: Like father like son Jenson hits the wine…’vhen I getsh old of that Goujon hic’

1:51:53 PM: Half distance already? Time flys when that prick Tilka has nothing to do with track design.

1:53:20 PM: At least they can be sure the wheels on this tiime.

1:55:22 PM: Maybe not.

2:10:48 PM: The race hasn’t finished and I want to watch it again already.

2:13:41 PM: Come on Fisi forget second think revenge stuff it up the back of Kimi.

2:17:12 PM: If you hadn’t seen the race you would have assumed it had pissed down for half of it.

2:21:27 PM: Come on Badoer, 20 seconds away from being laped.

2:24:51 PM: Rubens engine fucked.

2:28:11 PM: FISI!!!!!!

2:29:57 PM: Rubens on fire.

2:32:41 PM: Fisi appears to bum kimi pre podium.

2:34:15 PM: Is it normal to love watching Kimi win but hate watching Ferrari win?

2:44:30 PM: Fisi cries in press conference, just making sure Ferrari remember he’s a proper italian.

2:48:40 PM: i’d forgotten just how bloody long the italian national anthem is. It only just finished from the last ferrari win last wednesday

2:55:34 PM: Rubens has a coldsore in the same place as Webber.

2009 European Grand Prix

Still bad sound quality, but Terry and Kevin get to discuss Rubens hamming it up, whitmarsh talking nonsense and a jim’ll fix it letter or two…

2009 Hungarian Grand Prix

After an age, the hungarian grand prix podcast finally goes up.

The sound quality is bad, we lost one version of it and we forgot most of what happened.

Just like Massa…

12:44:38 PM: Phone is proving to be as reliable as Hungarian TV and timing coverage so live blogging may prove difficult.

12:47:10 PM: Bernie and Eddie, too much sexual tension. Just get on with it and snog already.

12:51:26 PM: Now Eddie goes to give Flavio a love tap. What’s with the F1 love in?

12:52:36 PM: Jenson reverts to old skid lid. Eddie continues to be a helmet.

1:13:18 PM: Hurry up Lewis, your dads making a move on your Pussycat doll.

1:23:06 PM: I’m saying nothing. But we’re all thinking it.

1:27:58 PM: Piquet performs better than Alonso and keeps his job for another race. Alonso regrets employing his Dad at a wheelman.

1:31:58 PM: Webber cock upon, cock up. Will his drive through cone before the end of the race?

1:33:24 PM: Red Balls ups a plenty.

1:35:44 PM: Hang on, I’ve been a bit distracted is Lewis in a good position to win this race?

1:35:44 PM: Hang on, I’ve been a bit distracted is Lewis in a good position to win this race?

1:57:55 PM: I left the room for lunch I fear I may have had a timewarp on toast. I’ve come back to 2008….James Allen sounds weird.

2:01:30 PM: Bernie signs autographs, I can only assume they thought he was one of The Krankies.

2:05:20 PM: Webber Team Radio “Can you go fast” other classic stating the bleeding obvious transmitions include, “you are from Australia” & “you swear”

2:19:09 PM: Glock seems to manage a wheelie?

2009 German Grand Prix

Webber finally broke his duck after his luck came in and his leg held up. Rubens, however, had a hissy fit and Terry and Kevin both have Swine flu as they watched the german grand prix with a bunch of people not so happy to see Hamilton get a puncture…

12:40:28 PM: What did that sign say?

12:44:33 PM: Pat Fry receives a cheer in the Mclaren pub.

12:47:02 PM: The gay german anthem.

1:10:28 PM: Webber gets a bit punchey off the line

1:11:24 PM: Lewis gets a bit puncturey off the line

1:13:48 PM: Button between kers and a hard place.

1:22:30 PM: Webber penislised.

1:34:10 PM: Bourdais hands in his notice.

1:37:06 PM: Lewis asks if he can go home early.

1:42:38 PM: Come on Sutil 3rd

1:45:48 PM: Ted Kratiz “red bull must be doing their absolute nut”

1:49:21 PM: Sutil drives like a true german.

1:50:30 PM: Monaco: The Return

1:56:34 PM: Ferrari invetigation set for December.

1:58:58 PM: Kimi hears Magnums are two for one in Sainsburys.

2:06:07 PM: All together rain, rain, rain….

As the media, Max and possibly the German fans are shunning Bernie ahead of this weekends race. We were not too surprised when he agreed to answer a few question from yours truly.

AF1P: Bernie, you have recently praised Hitler and Saddam Hussein for their leadership skills and blamed the Jews for current banking crisis and we were wondering if there where any other pearls of wisdom you would care to impart?

Bernie: There are plenty of things I would like to share but it seems that political correctness has gone mad.

AF1P: Yeeeeah! Sorry Bernie we’re play racist old nut case bingo and already we’ve filled a square. Anyway Bernie don’t feel you have to edit yourself here, remember what goes on on the internet, stays on the internet.

Bernie: Thanks lads I’ve heard of the internet I think it sounds amazing you put a bit of paper in a telephone and then someone on the other side of the world can read the same bit of paper. Not that I spend much time talking to anyone outside my postcode, dirty foreign Norfolk bastards coming over here stealing our hair dye.

AF1P: Ok Mein Führer, lets get down to the nitty gritty. There must be some method to your madness is there anyone who really sticks out as being ‘too bad for Bernie’.

Bernie: Nope.

AF1P: What about the prolific serial killer Harold Shipman?

Bernie: Say what you like about the man but he did more to cut national health waiting lists than any government has managed.

AF1P: He killed 218 oaps?

Bernie: The man had vision you can’t make an omelette without poisoning a few coffin dodgers.

Terry has to leave the room briefly to vomit in the sink.

AF1P: What about Mugabe?

Bernie: Lovely chap, in fact Shippers, Mugsy and me all used to go to the same opticians.

AF1P: What do you think of the Daily Mail?

Bernie: Wishy washy liberal nonsense, I get my bedtime reading direct from Nick Griffin.

AF1P: Bernie they say you get more right wing as you get older, is there anywhere left for you to go?

Bernie: Of course! This weekend from my forward operations base at the Nürburgring I’m planing to go 700 miles to the right if you know what I mean. Got to get things done…..

At this point Bernie winked, tapped his nose and goose stepped out of AnotherF1podcast towers. He was last seen trying to hail a cab as only he and the Nazis know how.

2009 British Grand Prix

Was it the last British Grand Prix at Silverstone? We all hope not, though maybe Donnington might have a bit better racing.

Kevin and Terry talk about the political highs and lows of the current state of F1, including jakey-wakey breaking mucky max and EJ almost breaking Bernie.

yet again they totally forgot to mention who won the race, but you all bloody know that already.

The Silverstone Grand Prix podcast is coming but like Lewis we won’t be finishing where we thought we would so in the meantime here is a little story (some of the names have been changed to protect the guilty).

Are you sitting in pole position then I shall begin…..

In a land far from the disused airfields of Northamptonshire a family of four lived. The father of the family, Kevin, had moved to Londinum seeking fame and fortune some 15 years ago, sadly his dream had still not been realised instead he spent most of his time driving from dingy pub to dingy pub telling jokes to largely unappreciative crowds.  Aside from the love of his family one thing kept Kevin from depression and despair, Formula One.  Every spare moment he had he would devote to his beloved sport. Unfortunately Kevin’s wife Tina did not share his enthusiasm for all things F1, as the true matriarch of this family she saw it as a threat to her unconditional leadership, she was very dominant and was never happier than when she was cracking the whip.  Although this seed of discord existed from the beginning of their relationship it had previously never managed to germinate.  Mainly thanks to the distraction of their beautiful children Ellie, a 8 year old girl who curiously had white curly shoulder length hair and an almost uncontrollable passion for blue tinted sun glasses and Chloe, a very short, grey haired, 5 year old who had a tendency to answer complete gibberish to any direct question.

However, this odd but completely fictional families tranquil existence was about to be shattered.

It was the Friday before Fathers Day. Although Kevin expected nothing more than the usual homemade card and packet of wine gums he knew this Fathers Day would be different. This year Fathers Days fell on the same day as the Silverstone Grand Prix which meant he could watch the race with none of the usual objections as it was his day and he could do what HE wanted, and for that reason he was very excited.

Sat at home in front of his computer his excitement temporarily turned to fear as he heard the key in the door which heralded the return of his wife and children from school (Tina had taken a job at the school as Kevin’s wages alone were not enough to support Ellie’s growing collection of blue tinted sunglasses), luckily he managed to close his Fantasy Formula One team page and open his expenses spread sheet just before his wife entered the room.

“Don’t move, stay right here or you will be punished,” she yelled. He heard the children chuckling, bags rustling and a cupboard door slam.  Still smiling they all came back into the front room “What have you been up to?” he asked. “Ask Max,” Chloe blurted in her usual nonsensical fashion. “It’s a Fathers Day surprise,” Ellie tittered. “It’s a Fleetwood shocker” shouted Chloe.

Kevin immediately knew what this meant, although Chloe largely made no sense after five years he had been able to establish that Fleetwood referred to F1. Not wanting to ruin their surprise he kept this to himself and let the conversation tail off before returning to his spread sheet.

Fathers Day and more importantly the day of the Silverstone Grand Prix arrived. The kids ran in with the obligatory still wet and sticky, part glitter, part paper mache card and wine gums screaming “HAPPY FATHERS DAY!” like it was a war cry rather than term of endearment. Then, as quickly as they had arrived they left, oh the ‘Fleetwood shocker’ what could it be, surely not tickets? At £300 for decent seat even Kevin saw that as a swift two fingers to the fans, besides there was no way Tina would sanction that. Before he could speculate further the girls returned with a box so big they both had to carry it. “Surprise!” they both sang in unison. He could hardly believe his eyes, a remote controlled, 2003, Michael Schumacher Ferrari. Even though it was a Ferrari and Kevin had been a Brawn GP man since he was a small boy he was choked, he started to stammer “but, ba, um, um,” Chloe interrupted “be cool baby be cool.”

Tina had seen enough however and bought him back down to earth with a bump, “It’s not yours! Do you honestly think that we could afford such a gift? What with Ellie continuing to spend millions of pounds on ridiculous sun glasses, if I had my way she would just close her eyes or squint when it gets a bit bright. It belongs to Chloe the school were given it and they want you to put it together. You are not allowed to play with it but you must construct it with the care and attention of a heart surgeon.” Kevin’s blood boiled, “What? What….are you some kind of sadomasochist, what sort of sick and twisted treat is this?” Tina tried and failed hide her glee “You thought it was yours, gotcha,” Ellie looked over the top of her glasses and whispered “It’s not fair I want one,” she gradually stated to get louder and louder until her face turned red with her exertions “I WANT ONE!”. “You can’t have one it’s Chloe’s” snapped Tina. “I WANT ONE!” she persisted. Tina’s initial glee turned to amazement “that kids a lunatic”.

The shouting and hollering continued all morning, Tina hid behind her position of authority, Ellie continued to covert the shiny toys and in-between Chloe talked bollocks. Despite the fact that it was an out of date Ferrari from the dark processional days Kevin made the car. He made it because he loved Formula One, he will always love Formula one, not A1GP, not BTCC, not Mr and Mrs Money bags fuck off and have their own party Prix, it had been shit before and it’ll probably be shit again before he dies. But for the time being it was great he didn’t care he shut the door of the lounge so the screaming became a dull murmur opened his wine gums and sat back to watch the Silverstone Grand Prix, it was the last one so it was bound to be three hours of non stop thrills and spills…..

12:35:13 PM: For a grumpy perv Max Mosley has suprisingly deep laughter lines.

12:42:26 PM: Show me one more person who got a VIP ticket and doesn’t really care, I f**kin dare you!

12:46:17 PM: It’s official the non sensicle man with white hair and blue sunglasses loves Bernie and is a looney. Section the cock now.

12:47:05 PM: johnnie herberts win doesn’t count

1:14:54 PM: Move over Nick.

1:17:44 PM: Mclaren are in the window? Max is in the dungeon and John Buttons in the bar.

1:23:16 PM: If things don’t get more exciting in the next 8 minutes I’m going to start a break away movement to ITV to watch Dickinson’s Real Deal.

1:29:40 PM: Lewis asks “bring me in early” the asume he means to pit but we all know he wants to go home.

1:34:07 PM: Ooh there’s a man trying to sell an old fashion leather worker on ITV he’s turned down £50.

1:52:11 PM: Bourdais I love you.

1:53:49 PM: More punctures, more crashes, blood I want BLOOD!

1:59:13 PM: Sounds like Rosberg has R2-D2 in the car with him.

2:04:35 PM: Lewis heads to Donnington early.

2:15:05 PM: Did I doze off how did Button jump Trulli and Kimi?

2:17:07 PM: Come on Fisi!!!!!

2:20:13 PM: Button take Rosberg in 7 laps?! If he does I’ll watch this and the Turkish race all over again.

2:27:58 PM: Did Vettel just sneeze?
1:46:33 PM: we have posted “Fathers Day”. Go read it here… http://bit.ly/3XtVp …now

2:36:42 PM: we have posted “2009.9 – british grand prix”. Go read it here… http://bit.ly/ERFrK …now

1:07:24 AM: i am watching indycar racing, it looks so much like f1, yet I am utterly uninterested

4:19:09 PM: we have posted “EXCLUSIVE: Q & A with Bernie Ecclestone!”. Go read it here… http://bit.ly/gW77i …now

4:19:09 PM: we have posted “EXCLUSIVE: Q & A with Bernie Ecclestone!”. Go read it here… http://bit.ly/gW77i …now

5:03:47 PM: Red button stuff: BBC showing some great old F1 races – including the one where nelson piquet punches a columbian

10:45:08 AM: Brawn GP too cold again for anything higher that 6th?

12:23:27 PM: Ary I love you! Come on Jakey make him day ‘automobilys’ again.