6:16:03 AM: Yaaaawning everybody.

6:16:50 AM: RT @Misty2k Apparently, 14% of *everything* Lewis Hamilton says ends with either “…an error of judgement” or “…I’m very sorry” #F1

6:39:40 AM: Kovi just admitted getting some drinks in before the race.

6:40:12 AM: RT @russellmcgovern Brundle - it’s early. Please do up your shirt, I do not need to be seeing your tufty tits on my TV #F1

6:41:41 AM: Who’s the lady with Petrov, she looks like a bond villian.

6:46:51 AM: Anthony Davidson trophy grid: 1st Kovi, 2nd Trulli, 3rd Glock, 4th di Grassi, 5th(pit) Senna, 6th(pit) Chandhok

6:53:08 AM: Trulli retires before the race starts, there will be a Trulli replacement bus service diverting via Auckland.

6:55:41 AM: TERRY ARE YOU AWAKE!

7:00:11 AM: MS Schumacher’s engineer tell him how to suck eggs.

7:01:44 AM: Wet knees for Hamilton and Button.

7:06:42 AM: “Micheal do you need a front wing?” “I’m not sure it’s hard to see it through the sparks”

7:09:36 AM: STRAIGHT TO THE SCENE OF THE ACCIDENT! #martinbrundlecatchphrasebingo

7:11:49 AM: Sato is a distant memory, Kobayashi is our new crash test hero.

7:12:49 AM: RT @MikeGascoyne Thinking of dry tyres

7:15:42 AM: RT @neilcole @a_f1podcast “Kobayashi’s Castle”

7:17:22 AM: This is so exciting it almost seems stage managed.

7:19:31 AM: Jenson takes a 99/1 gamble, in the next lap to have the wings removed.

7:25:41 AM: Hamilton purple on the timing screens, thinks he saw flashing blue lights.

7:33:02 AM: BMW Sauber-Ferrari #invisibleF1teams

7:35:12 AM: Senna caught on camera laughing at Chandhok driving across the gravel.

7:37:00 AM: Chandhok caught on radio laughing as he crosses the gravel.

7:44:54 AM: disastrous gig. No idea what’s happened with f1. So presuming vettel in lead and dull behind him. Let me know

7:45:31 AM: Turns out Mclaren has adjustable/ejectable front wing.

7:52:44 AM: Rob Smedley “cough, cough, piquet, barichello, cough, cough baby”

7:53:55 AM: RT @tonyfernandes heikki is about to lap chadok . heikki up to 13th

7:57:51 AM: We must be very careful of knee jerk reactions, remember Australia is ALWAYS exciting.

8:00:48 AM: Mercedes reward for being in the first garages, 10 metres of slippery blue paint straight out of the pit box.

8:06:54 AM: Eddie Jordan & Father Jack Hackett #seperatedatbirth

8:23:48 AM: Barring a Chandhok miracle, Kovi seems to have Anthony Davidson trophy win number two in the bag.

8:26:17 AM: “Alonso look in your mirrors”, “my eyes are closed, my eyes are closed”

8:27:46 AM: Alonso smoke/mud screen technique.

8:30:00 AM: Hamilton, tyres fucked? Noooo surely you’ve got the wrong driver.

8:33:18 AM: MB “webber so deep in there, thought he’d have a look up the inside of Hamilton” #schoolboyhumour

8:34:38 AM: Hamilton destroys two sets of tyres in around 20 laps and has the cheek to blame team.

8:35:08 AM: Nice doughnut, doughtnut!

8:37:36 AM: BUTTON XXXXXXX

8:39:13 AM: Jenson let’s F-duct go to his special place.

8:40:15 AM: Lewis Hamilton “I just don’t want to talk to the team right now, I know it will just be blah, blah, blah”

8:41:11 AM: RT @russellmcgovern If Button uses the word ‘baby’ in any press conferences or on the radio his superlicense should be revoked #F1

8:46:08 AM: Urgh, Pete Doherty grid girls.

8:46:50 AM: Premier seems popular.

8:47:56 AM: RT @MikeGascoyne Well done to HRT for a race finish

8:52:04 AM: Any suggestions why Whitmarsh is fighting back tears?

8:53:00 AM: Hamilton man up you massive cock.

8:54:20 AM: RT @russellmcgovern @a_f1podcast He caught his nadgers zipping up after a piss and the cameras went to him before he could extract

We’re back on itunes baby.

If you’ve tried to search for us in the last few months you may have noticed we don’t show up - some technical gubbins, we blame Mucky Max and James Allen really.

But if you search now - or click here you can find us again, so rate us and comment about us and subscribe.

(though, confusingly, if you were subscribed before then that will still work… we don’t understand either)

Directly after the Baaahumbug Grandprix Button, Alonso and the pantomime villain (he’s behind you checking out your f -duct Schumacher) were queuing up to say how dull it was. Saying the rule changes were to blame and shouting “no-one asked us, we’d have told ‘em for sure”.

Well it seems that while on a plane someone has got to these outspoken drivers. I’m pretty sure a short, bespectacled, white haired, multimillionaire stewardess has had a little whisper in all of their ears whilst dishing out the duty frees.

Because we are now witnessing more U-turns than even Badoer could manage on a wet track.

Button is now warning against knee jerk reactions.

Alonso’s said “We have to wait and see different races and check the situation, without being emotional.”

While Schumacher is obviously still a bit shaken up by the poisoned dwarfs menacing pep talk as the best back pedal he could muster under duress was “It is not motorcycle racing, it has always had less overtaking - the excitement is still there for fans.”

Well Michael you’d better start towing the company line and come up with something better than that pronto, or you’ll be back on your bike quicker than you can say ‘concrete wellingtons’.

Luckily F.O.M golden-boy, Hamilton, has managed to divert attention away from the very real prospect of a dull season the traditional way, by flinging a dumper truck full of grade A bullshit Mark Webber’s way and insinuating that he could/would/should retire this year. I expect he’ll apologize for his outburst as we get to China, then suggest Alonso and Alguersuari touch kids just in time for the Spanish Grand Prix.

The dullest season opener for a while, Kevin and Terry bemoan the lack of overtaking, the missing world champions from the parade we never got to see and FOM taking down youtube clips of classic races.

The inaugural underdog award, The Anthony Davidson Trophy is also announced.

We also offer Bernie our ideas to spice up this years championship

And Terry lets James Allen have it both barrels in an almost scary rant.

2010 Bahrain Grand Prix Podcast

Is F1 fucked? Should we write off 2010 already?

Bernie has been saying that the rulemakers need to be outside of the teams

Racing and entertaining the public, not about playing with computers and going fast over one lap. The problem is that you cannot really have teams, in any shape or form, having a part in the sporting or technical regulations - you cannot have the inmates writing the regulations

Well, we at anotherf1podcast are not inmates, we are dutiful spouses who still go and visit the loved ones that killed our sport and arrange conjugal visits, try to sneak in files into cakes and otherwise tell them that they’re doing fine.

But we’ve had enough. Diffusers and shit tyres that are too good are here for 2010 and they’re not going anywhere. So we need some new rules that can be brought in immediately. Most of these go agianst the grain of what we want F1 to be, but we’re in desperate times people!

The most the teams have come up with is a second pit stop. A SECOND PIT STOP? Is that the best they can do? All that will do is make the dull once stop race where for two laps something almost happens into a dull two stop race where for four laps something almost happens.

Sprinklers

All the best race have been the wet ones. Have sprinklers out on track to fuck the cars up.

Make the drivers share a house

Reality TV shows are still the rage, make them live to gether and do tasks. Then clips of this can be shown during the races dull bits.

Fire Drivers

Like the Apprentice, fire the weakest (sorry Badoer - You’re Fired!)

Catapults

Although unwanted, there’s no doubt that spring-in-the-facegate livened up an otherwise dull Hungarian GP. Have catapults on the side of the track to put the drivers off

A Real Red Button

Instead of a dull camera feed, make the red button a voting system. Whoever gets most votes suddenly has a sparkplug let go or something.

Reverse Grids

Oh, a sensible suggestion. Put the faster guys at the back and make them work for it.

Pace Car

Stop pretending the Mercedes Hatchback is all about afety. Group the cars back together like NASCAR and have them fight for it.

More Wood

To slow the cars down in the aftermath of Senna’s death there was a bizarre (and still in place) rule to nail a plank of wood to the bottom of the car. Let’s extend that, replace these fancy front and rear wings with some two by fours. That’ll stop the aero dominace.

Shitter Tyres

Fire Bridgestone and get our mate Barry to supply tyres from the scrap heap that’ll actually puncture.

Leave your suggestions in the comments people.