(slightly late, sorry, Terry ran a marathon and forgot to upload it)
In which they mock Mark Webber’s charitable singing voice, get bored of Schumacher reporting, annoyed by Jonathon Legard, impressed by the rain and, surprised by the stewards and smug about their itunes review
7:26:25 AM: Jenson’s off to do his 1st pit stop.
7:29:22 AM: RT @MikeGascoyne A few spots of rain now
7:35:17 AM: You can tell Lewis’s Dad is no longer around, now he has to shave himself he seems to miss bits. #F1
7:45:56 AM: Forget flying, I’d like to see the cars race home. #F1
7:47:33 AM: F1 should head home like a top gear challenge
7:47:59 AM: oop, coulthards got his telephone voice on
7:52:25 AM: DC “building a fuel tank that’s not big enough to finish a race now that’s comedy” move over Mcintyre we have a new peoples champion.
7:54:36 AM: Eddie’s 38 word 1 word answer.
8:01:31 AM: HRT Make a massive Glock up!
8:04:52 AM: Gobiashi to blame surely
8:05:52 AM: You can lose a race in the first lap but very rarely can you win it… apart from in malaysia
8:07:26 AM: The ex racer steward this week is the ghost of Fangio, he say ferrari didn’t jump start via a ouija board #f1
8:09:25 AM: Is that illegal ?
8:09:57 AM: Team radio to Lewis “Stay out if you want to make a tit of yourself again” #f1
8:11:27 AM: those guys with the brooms are in for a shock #f1
8:14:23 AM: Hamilton passed by Kovi.
8:14:27 AM: schumacher left his book in the pits. needs something to read on a lazy sunday afternoon #f1
8:16:47 AM: would not want to work in the pits today #f1
8:17:32 AM: You put you inter on, you take your inters off, you do the oke koke and you turn around….and everyone else has F-ducked off #F1
8:19:48 AM: Last years rain in china saw 30 overtaking moves, lap 7 of this years race has seen 31
8:20:16 AM: ROSBERG IS THE STIG! #f1
8:20:21 AM: RT @russellmcgovern Brundle makes me uncomfortable when he enthusiastically shouts ‘going deep’ #F1
8:21:15 AM: vettel’s engine sounds like a circa 2002 Playstation F1 game
8:22:24 AM: Mark Webber is bipolar - only explanation. #f1
8:23:35 AM: I like the rain it’s like being drunk, I’m really excited yet I have no idea what is actually going on. #F1
8:24:18 AM: RT @MikeGascoyne busy here.
8:24:20 AM: He farted? @VirginRacing Timo had an air leak on the grid. Grrtrrr
8:32:10 AM: news from McLaren - hamilton has an erection right now #f1
8:33:47 AM: Is Lewis about to take his place in the ‘Englishmen speared off the track by Schumacher Hall of Fame’ #F1
8:39:34 AM: Rosberg has Hamilton’s rear tyres on. #F1
8:42:18 AM: Hamilton and Vettel investigation after the race. Yeah because racing in and out of the pits is such a grey area. #F1 #FFS
8:43:17 AM: Algeshwari trips on his own shoe laces.
8:44:06 AM: ferraris been in and out of the pits like a cheap whore
8:47:24 AM: Surely a Ferrari investigation as well, probably after 2013 #F1
8:55:01 AM: You’ve got to love BBC spin Schumacher overtakes on the inside and Legard says “Hamilton coming round the outside of Schumacher”. #F1
8:59:05 AM: Alright Brundle shut up before they hear!
8:59:24 AM: calls for Schumacher to be put down #f1
9:01:10 AM: @sniffpetrol my bear and I have a lot in common we both go to toilet in the same place.
9:07:42 AM: IT IS I, OSSAKA
9:07:43 AM: Hamilton can see Rosbergs tyres are ducked and realises his must be really quakered. #F1
9:08:05 AM: Oksanaaaaaaaaaaaah X
9:08:31 AM: @a_f1podcast tyres ducked? Terry thinks Kevin is tweeting from his iphone
9:09:44 AM: RT @MikeGascoyne sorry for less tweets but a lot going on here
9:16:19 AM: Tyre gang rape, lewis first to come in. #F1
9:19:23 AM: 16 laps to overtake button. Do it
9:22:47 AM: Hamilton will overtake and win by 24.999999999 seconds. #F1
9:25:30 AM: Pace/safety car predicted in 5 minutes.
9:27:15 AM: Is Brundle suggesting cars travel faster the the speed of sound?
9:29:29 AM: HRT done more pitstops than laps
9:29:35 AM: Crash into Petrov, Oksana watch is flagging.
9:32:03 AM: Massa finally passes Algeshwari, in other news man fails to steal candy from a baby. #F1
9:37:09 AM: Slow mo shows, despite what he thinks, Lewis’s tyre are not completely bald. Which helps explain his shit beard. #F1
9:46:31 AM: FFS BBC1, i’m no Schumacher fan but we all get it he’s not a good as he once was. At least he’s in a car & not fat bellied/chined pundit #F1
9:49:11 AM: Inside John Button’s headphones “don’t drink, don’t drink, don’t drink…”
9:50:03 AM: RT @MikeGascoyne Possible slow puncture for heikki, just what we dont need
9:53:38 AM: RT @MikeGascoyne fingers crossed here 2 corners to go
9:54:07 AM: Phew! RT @MikeGascoyne did it
9:55:35 AM: John Button requests a double.
10:05:04 AM: Is he gonna cry?
10:06:28 AM: Lewis touched his ear while saying Jenson did a great job. LIE! #F1 #bodylanguage101
10:07:36 AM: Pit lane incident, I was never in the pits. I’m not saying anything without a soliciter, I wish my Dad was still here.
10:08:15 AM: Pit lane incident, I was never in the pits. I’m not saying anything without a solicitor, I wish my Dad was still here.
10:11:54 AM: RT @russellmcgovern This is a missed opportunity to have a muppet Eddie lip-sync to his voice #F1
10:13:38 AM: What no F1 Forum?
10:14:29 AM: Wiley to Slegehammer? #shoottheDJ
10:18:21 AM: Just heard EJ on the forum say “lucky Charms”
The rain in Malaysia falls mainly on the qualifying. Kevin and Terry discuss Mark Webber bottling it, FIA press accreditation rejection and the sweat that’s pouring from Eddie Jordan.
Lewis Hamilton is treating his McLaren team like a girlfriend he has annoyed. After getting ratty after the Australian Grand Prix he is now buying flowers, grovelling and topping the practice sheets to get back in their good books.
Webber has carried on the Red Bull’s unlucky streak with a possible engine failure, and so far the rain hasn’t bothered them all that much. But the option tyres are looking to be a bit iffy
Pos Driver Team Time Laps
1. Hamilton McLaren-Mercedes 1:34.921 19
2. Rosberg Mercedes 1:35.106 + 0.185 19
3. Button McLaren-Mercedes 1:35.207 + 0.286 25
4. Schumacher Mercedes 1:35.225 + 0.304 14
5. Kubica Renault 1:35.402 + 0.481 22
6. Webber Red Bull-Renault 1:35.479 + 0.558 22
7. Sutil Force India-Mercedes 1:35.955 + 1.034 20
8. Alonso Ferrari 1:35.959 + 1.038 20
9. Vettel Red Bull-Renault 1:35.043 + 1.122 19
10. Buemi Toro Rosso-Ferrari 1:36.100 + 1.179 20
11. Massa Ferrari 1:36.451 + 1.530 22
12. Kobayashi Sauber-Ferrari 1:36.503 + 1.582 28
13. Alguersuari Toro Rosso-Ferrari 1:36.645 + 1.724 18
14. Petrov Renault 1:36.712 + 1.791 9
15. di Resta Force India-Mercedes 1:36.891 + 1.970 25
16. de la Rosa Sauber-Ferrari 1:36.899 + 1.978 24
17. Hulkenberg Williams-Cosworth 1:37.802 + 2.881 27
18. Barrichello Williams-Cosworth 1:38.278 + 3.357 18
19. Trulli Lotus-Cosworth 1:39.460 + 4.539 21
20. Glock Virgin-Cosworth 1:39.755 + 4.834 17
21. di Grassi Virgin-Cosworth 1:40.159 + 5.238 25
22. Fauzy Lotus-Cosworth 1:40.721 + 5.800 19
23. Senna HRT-Cosworth 1:41.832 + 6.911 27
Pos Driver Team Time Laps
1. Hamilton McLaren-Mercedes 1:34.175 27
2. Vettel Red Bull-Renault 1:34.441 + 0.266 28
3. Rosberg Mercedes 1:34.443 + 0.268 30
4. Button McLaren-Mercedes 1:34.538 + 0.363 24
5. Schumacher Mercedes 1:34.674 + 0.499 30
6. Kubica Renault 1:35.148 + 0.973 34
7. Alonso Ferrari 1:35.581 + 1.406 34
8. Buemi Toro Rosso-Ferrari 1:35.660 + 1.485 39
9. Petrov Renault 1:35.872 + 1.697 20
10. Sutil Force India-Mercedes 1:35.957 + 1.782 32
11. Kobayashi Sauber-Ferrari 1:36.018 + 1.843 38
12. Liuzzi Force India-Mercedes 1:36.221 + 2.046 34
13. de la Rosa Sauber-Ferrari 1:36.325 + 2.150 33
14. Alguersuari Toro Rosso-Ferrari 1:36.325 + 2.150 39
15. Massa Ferrari 1:36.602 + 2.427 30
16. Barrichello Williams-Cosworth 1:36.813 + 2.638 26
17. Hulkenberg Williams-Cosworth 1:37.415 + 3.240 19
18. Trulli Lotus-Cosworth 1:38.454 + 4.279 34
19. Kovalainen Lotus-Cosworth 1:38.530 + 4.355 32
20. Webber Red Bull-Renault 1:38.786 + 4.558 13
21. Glock Virgin-Cosworth 1:39.061 + 4.886 23
22. di Grassi Virgin-Cosworth 1:39.158 + 4.983 29
23. Chandhok HRT-Cosworth 1:41.084 + 6.909 27
24. Senna HRT-Cosworth 1:41.481 + 7.306 32
24. Chandhok HRT-Cosworth 1:41.966 + 7.045 24
8:39:31 AM: Men in White coats chasing De la Rosa. Electrodes up the bum.
8:45:45 AM: John button has just thrown up in Massa’s cockpit #f1
8:50:18 AM: Pedro looks like he’s trying to secure -5 points in The Anthony Davidson Underdog Trophy Award http://bit.ly/brkmbE
8:50:59 AM: Lemy works for Red Bull
8:53:38 AM: Lewis uses the Michael Jackson car entry technique, heee hooo. #f1
8:54:47 AM: Webber gonna screw it up when the rain come #f1
9:01:13 AM: Sauber engine looks like it blew out, rather than up.
9:07:13 AM: button starting at the back of the grid - thinks he’s in an earth honda again. Was it all a dream? #f1
9:17:04 AM: Herbert have a word.
9:18:22 AM: GOBAYASHI!!!! #f1 oh, stopbayashi
9:19:08 AM: Hamilton weaving so much he’s made a basket #f1
9:19:49 AM: Jenson, it’s not raining yet?
9:20:55 AM: Schumacher! Back to his best, parking the car #f1
9:22:07 AM: Hamiltons penalty: Has to perform a negative weave to cancel out the earlier one #f1
9:24:00 AM: Hamilton gets verbal warning, only two written and then it’s P45
9:36:46 AM: Schumacher says “I had to retire”, yes Michael you did and now we see why that was the right decision.
9:37:26 AM: RT @MikeGascoyne Heikki having hydraulic failure
9:39:07 AM: RT @MikeGascoyne Working on heikki’s car - that’s the spirit.
9:47:41 AM: Webber held up by gun, I think that he may have a loose nut. Red Bull really know how to drop a bollock.
9:49:14 AM: KOVIASHI!
9:52:51 AM: Hamilton refusing to change tyres to spite his face #f1
9:53:47 AM: Is it Vettel car breaking time yet? #f1
9:57:34 AM: Well where the fuck is this fucking rain? #f1
9:57:46 AM: Hoping for rain on BBC2 #f1
9:59:54 AM: Switch to BBC 2, for Gods sake why? Oh sorry God. While your on the line any chance of some rain?#F1
10:01:30 AM: RT @adrianlovell *sigh* #F1 RT @MikeGascoyne: Forecast saying dry to end of race
10:03:01 AM: “I drove my heart out, the team did a great job….” #anotherboringpressconference #F1
10:07:23 AM: Using BBC1’s coverage to pray for rain #f1
10:10:10 AM: RT @realTimoGlock Wanted to catch Trulli in 9. He fought back & my tyres blocked.During spin the engine shut down. Not possible to continue.
10:11:53 AM: Sutil getting blue flags.
10:14:55 AM: Webber’s robotic leg failing. #F1
10:15:03 AM: “Mark, you appear to have forgotten how to drive a car” #f1
10:19:52 AM: Who’s a good boy then, you wanna go walkies?
10:21:42 AM: I never get tired of seeing excited then dissapointed Ferrari mechanics. #F1
10:31:11 AM: Alonso still racing despite gear box problems, next race he’ll have a blindfold #f1
10:35:15 AM: Alonso broke it.
10:37:52 AM: excessive weaving across the line from vettel? #f1
10:42:01 AM: Rosberg and Kubica Stealth Championship Contenders? #f1
10:49:45 AM: RT @adrianlovell For anyone in a motorsport mood after watching the #F1, the #BTCC starts on ITV4 at 11! 
10:52:37 AM: Eddie you blethering simpleton, just stop talking.
10:57:16 AM: webbers got his whiney voice on #f1
10:57:40 AM: Webber is starting to look more and more like a monkey. #planetoftheapes #f1
11:01:40 AM: BMW Sauber chuffed they stayed in the sport.
11:08:25 AM: Booo the sound comes back for the three wise monkeys, actualy that’s not fair two presenters and a sweaty gibbon.
11:13:41 AM: I bet that guy goes to eton #f1
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