12:21:08 PM: I am secretly watching the Grand Prix, in a house full of relatives I should be talking to. How long before they discover I’m missing? #F1

1:05:12 PM: Horner does tense so well

1:05:28 PM: Go Button.

1:08:23 PM: Shit I’ve been rumbled, this may be the last tweet of the Grand Prix from me.

1:13:45 PM: He said Luzzi’s rear wing is going to fall off.

1:30:33 PM: time for some racing!

1:47:53 PM: Can’t work out if I’m bored or not?

1:51:20 PM: If I had some money I’d sponsor Hispania or virgin and insist on a massive L plate on the back of the rear wing

1:52:59 PM: Legard is just copying @MikeGascoyne. Cover your tweets with your arm mike

1:56:46 PM: Is trulli the first retirement?

2:05:22 PM: Fucking kids coming and screwing it all up

2:08:17 PM: Wondered why they kept showing a close up of a screen saying “total fuck up expected”

2:09:33 PM: RAIN!!!!!

2:11:24 PM: Punch up!!!

2:12:39 PM: That pool party is going to be a little different at red bull today. Vettel will find stones in his pockets

2:15:43 PM: Schumacher being taught how to suck eggs

2:16:58 PM: Those mclarens look crashably close

2:17:18 PM: Can’t. Watch.

2:19:05 PM: This is my expressive dance for the pierced one

2:20:13 PM: Lip Reading Whitmarsh seemingly shouting “careful” lots

2:26:04 PM: Alonso you big bully

2:30:33 PM: Would be better telly if the last guy on the pit wall just punched vettel

2:35:26 PM: Aside from obvious knocks and scrapes nearly all the teams finished next to each other

2:38:10 PM: Webber looks grumpy. Going to betfred to put punt on a swear in press conference

2:40:57 PM: Was that booing when webber got his wobbly trophy?

2:41:48 PM: Subdued podium cos mclaren knew it was gifted?

2:42:06 PM: Let’s hope this is where webber and vettel get proper nasty

3:55:13 PM: @jakehumphreyf1 Re: the new teams please show Ant this……
http://bit.ly/brkmbE

7:27:16 PM: I’m watching the INDY 500 on the internet - woo

7:33:27 PM: RT @willbuxton: Kudos to @aussiegrit today. Held his line, his nerve and his dignity.

8:19:10 PM: I don’t really understand indycars. Nothing is happening (and I’m saying this as an F1 fan)

8:34:24 PM: Now i look at the screen again and there’s a car in pieces… and this feed has no replays #indy500

Another tardy late podcast as Kevin has been sunning it in Spain.

They discuss the safety first of Mark Webber, Alonso cracking his chassis, and Rosberg getting angrY!

2010 Monaco Grand Prix Podcast

12:56:00 PM: Just terry liveblogging today. Kevin is on a jolly jaunt to Spain

1:02:36 PM: Early pit stop for alonso? How does this work? Kevin?

1:04:41 PM: Button 11th. The sugarbabes will be gutted! #f1

1:07:06 PM: Hulken schmulken

1:09:10 PM: That the quickest a Williams has gone all year #f1

1:11:41 PM: Webber to pit: um. Guys. There’s been a crash. Just so you know

1:18:24 PM: Alonso. Keep tyres and brakes warm bit oil and your Spanish blood cooled

1:20:19 PM: Alonso. F duct with left hand. Angry gestures with right.

1:24:25 PM: Someones nicked jensons phone

1:26:09 PM: Is it time for the red bull to break yet? #f1

1:30:18 PM: Thank you f1 scriptwriters #f1

1:52:33 PM: There’s a big fine for barrichello a coming

1:59:31 PM: If i was Hamiltons engineer I’d call him a petulant little shit live on air. Do you know how hard it is to make a car? Do you? #f1

2:00:44 PM: Bet Barrichellos steering wheel will fall out of a hrt in next quali

2:07:00 PM: Webber to pit. Um, there’s a drain cover loose. And the barriers at the hairpin could do with a lick of paint

2:22:10 PM: Safety car. Sugababe loose on turn 4

2:26:18 PM: So Monaco is like rising a rodeo horse on mount everest with a missile, martin? #f1

2:28:11 PM: This is where I wish there were three car teams. Could do with another Williams to crash and cause a safety car #f1

2:36:29 PM: Kubica in negotiations with vettel to try for a coalition win

2:45:48 PM: No pun intended. No pun done

2:52:14 PM: Come on vettel. You’ve got one corner

2:53:36 PM: Stat fans. One of the closest finishes ever.

2:57:13 PM: Hill investigating Schumacher

2:59:06 PM: Constructors trophy presented by the sugababes?

3:05:56 PM: Really want an ipad now. Right now

3:23:27 PM: Printouts! Go Ross!

3:24:20 PM: F1 is better with print outs. Fact

3:34:14 PM: Someone has borrowed eddie jordans personality “long term”

3:43:52 PM: @bbcf1 isn’t there a penalty for not putting the steering wheel back? #forum

3:56:06 PM: I’d rather they interviewed rob smedley than massa at the end of the race #f1

4:03:27 PM: Webber is a backflipping douche show off

4:03:48 PM: That’s enough from us (me). Podcast later this week folks. X

The dullest race of the year wasn’t quite as dull as it always is. But Terry and Kevin squeeze some life out of Nick Fry’s balls and muck about like it’s the last day of term.

Massa’s ability is called into question, Ferrari’s F-duct is laughed at, Jenson gets the freedom of Frome, Terry does not get the same treatment from his home town.

Chandok get’s docked points for the Anthony Davidson Underdog Trophy Award and Lewis ruins his tyres again as Mr boring wins the race that suits him most and the boys uncover the fact that Eddie Jordan did not run the marathon

2010 Spanish Grand Prix Podcast

12:35:25 PM: Hola a todos!

12:39:16 PM: FIA to ban F-Duct, mobile phone conversations and changing radio stations while driving.

12:42:08 PM: Will there ever be a terry and kevin avenue #f1

12:42:13 PM: Don’t ask Bernie.

12:43:24 PM: OPEN IT!

12:43:47 PM: Mark webber hopes it’s a boring grand prix. If we playing the hope game can I hope that he fucks up the first corner again? #f1

12:46:29 PM: Brundle proves the theory ‘treat em mean, keep em keen’

12:47:23 PM: Bet brundle and that woman have some dirty makeup sex later #f1

12:49:08 PM: No the Spanish fans are not biased. But they are incredibly racist #f1

12:49:46 PM: Pedro just said the Spanish fans are not bias. Shame they’re just a little bit racist. #F1

12:50:54 PM: Jinx

12:52:47 PM: New rule: cars to stop after first corner. Go back to grid in order they made it through and start again until there’s only one left

12:55:32 PM: Is the correct collective noun for F1 champions ‘a pack’? Surely it’s a Smug of champions

1:02:00 PM: First corner prediction: it’ll be made of Tarmac with a red and White kerb #f1

1:05:13 PM: Has legard had some voice surgery? He sounds less dull #f1

1:10:12 PM: Battle for 11th seems a little bit too much. Surely Arm wrestle would be more appropriate.

1:14:05 PM: MB “Felipe’s chin has dropped”. No Martin that’s the reconstructive surgery.

1:17:27 PM: RT @adrianlovell I think the #F1 Drinking Game needs refreshing: http://bit.ly/asmK6z

1:35:12 PM: The Barcelona bullet has shot himself in the foot #f1

1:37:43 PM: Buemi rejoined the track unsafely? I’ve heard he also often swims straight after eating. #F1

1:39:26 PM: Chandok you’re my hero. I love you. X

1:44:29 PM: Sunday driver: a old man driving too slowly in front of you. Who should move over and hand in his license. Instead of ruining you day. #f1

1:47:30 PM: Sunday driver: an old man driving too slowly in front of you. Who should move over and hand in his license. Instead of ruining you day. #f1

1:50:28 PM: When Legard says “there is plenty going on further up the field” does he mean Monaco? #f1

1:54:53 PM: Drive through for Algershwari, shave his eyebrows as he passes. Then he might be able to see where he’s going. #F1

2:10:21 PM: Please stop saying ‘bangs one out’. It’s hard enough to watch a dull race without being given suggestions of better ways to use my time. #F1

2:13:23 PM: All the screens have gone, may have to use the iplayer to watch Eastenders

2:22:01 PM: Chandock reveals Bernie called Algershwari ‘a f**king dozey c**t’

2:24:31 PM: Red Bull have lost some parts.

2:29:28 PM: Ok I know this is dull, but I can’t face the army of twats not into F1 telling me so. Lets all agree to keep this our little secret. RT #f1

2:33:22 PM: Renault engineers? It’s not their fault.

2:34:16 PM: STOP THE CAR YOU MENTALISTS!

2:36:48 PM: FFS Legard! Schumacher, Button and Massa turn their cars down on lap 30.

2:38:40 PM: I can’t bring myself to say it again, Lewis tyr…….

2:44:35 PM: Webber victory dance to silence, Alonso first of the losers HOORAY.

2:46:34 PM: RT @VirginRacing Nick Wirth: I’ve never been so happy about going so slowly! #f1

2:49:28 PM: Go Skelator, by the power of Greyskull.

2:54:49 PM: Is that a wheel gun behind whitmarsh or is he standing by the ghost train.

2:58:56 PM: Lewis’s beard looks more like he’s covered his chin in honey and then dipped it in a bowl of pubes #f1

3:03:54 PM: I’m almost tempted to watch the Forum to see if they fill an hour I say almost as I know they’ll just ask EJ to explain the offside rule #F1

3:07:06 PM: Place your bets for the montage megamix. I’m going EMF you’re unbeliveable to Barry Manilow Mandy. #F1

3:14:45 PM: Meatloaf to non descript house, better luck next week megamix montage fans. #F1