Supposed to launch right after the big brother Red Bull team, drivers Buemi and the other one were shocked to find no car waiting for them in valencia.

The key team members admitted over the winter that they’d gotten bored of the whole thing and invested in property instead saying they’d made much better returns and it was good not to have to keep “getting on planes.”

“We were never going to be battling for the points, and with Sauber, Williams and Team Lotus looking quick, well it was just going to be embarrassing wasn’t it?” said an un-named source.

“You only saw us on telly last year when the wheels flew off the car, that’s a lot of money for a tiny bit of TV time, instead I’ve bought a bank of six houses in Cairo and am going to rent them out as soon as I can get through to my man out there.”

Bernie Eccelstone said to be “fuming” has apparently gone along with this, stating that “if we all just pretend the cars are at each race, who’s to say they aren’t?”

This story won’t run and run…