drivers
here is our team guide in all its glory - come back in 6 months when half the drivers have been sacked and the new ones with promise are languishing at the back of the grid.
Jenson Button
The world champion baby. Expect him to act like a big baby throughout the year when his setup isn’t perfect. Proven to not deal very well with pressure last year, hence the move to McLaren where he’ll be under no pressure to win.
Lewis Hamilton
Has divorced his dad and told how he nearly quit. Expect him to be in a lot of adverts this year.
Michael Schumacher
If he wins people will shrug their shoulders and say “so what” if he loses we’ll all point and laugh.
Nico Rosberg
Is he going from looking good in an average car to looking average next to a seven time world champion?
Felippe Massa
Recovered from spring-gate. Will have an excuse for losing to Alonso.
Fernando Alonso
Will have forgotten what it’s like to not have a pliable team-mate. Expect him to chain Massa’s Ferrari to a lamp-post.
Sebastian Vettel
What a sense of humour this man has, really. So whacky.
Mark Webber
Has finally broken his duck after breaking his leg. Will this year break him into the big time, or his neck?
Rubens Barrichello
Still here, impressive.
Nico Hulkenberg
No jokes about making him angry. Any driver that rams him gets a tenner from me.
Robert Kubica
Pretending he’s done the right thing.
Vitaly Petrov
No idea, but probably has a big yacht.
Adrian Sutil
Must stop crashing.
Vitantonio Liuzzi
Looking less like a cock than in previous years.
Sebastian Beumi
Actually, no idea.
Jaime Alguersuari
Ditto
Jarno Trulli
Scared to be alone
Heikki Kovalainen
Relieved to be away from those pesky winning teams
Karun Chandok
Um…
Bruno Senna
The biggest chance of disappointment on the gird only behind Schumacher
Pedro De La Rosa
His moment in the sun,the last time he raced in a Grand Prix Luca Badoer was a hot young thing.
Kamui Kobayashi
The bullet train as he’s now called.
Timo Glock
Running out of funny things about average drivers
Lucas Di Grassi
See above



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