here is our team guide in all its glory - come back in 6 months when half the drivers have been sacked and the new ones with promise are languishing at the back of the grid.

Jenson Button

The world champion baby. Expect him to act like a big baby throughout the year when his setup isn’t perfect. Proven to not deal very well with pressure last year, hence the move to McLaren where he’ll be under no pressure to win.

Lewis Hamilton

Has divorced his dad and told how he nearly quit. Expect him to be in a lot of adverts this year.

Michael Schumacher

If he wins people will shrug their shoulders and say “so what” if he loses we’ll all point and laugh.

Nico Rosberg

Is he going from looking good in an average car to looking average next to a seven time world champion?

Felippe Massa

Recovered from spring-gate. Will have an excuse for losing to Alonso.

Fernando Alonso

Will have forgotten what it’s like to not have a pliable team-mate. Expect him to chain Massa’s Ferrari to a lamp-post.

Sebastian Vettel

What a sense of humour this man has, really. So whacky.

Mark Webber

Has finally broken his duck after breaking his leg. Will this year break him into the big time, or his neck?

Rubens Barrichello

Still here, impressive.

Nico Hulkenberg

No jokes about making him angry. Any driver that rams him gets a tenner from me.

Robert Kubica

Pretending he’s done the right thing.

Vitaly Petrov

No idea, but probably has a big yacht.

Adrian Sutil

Must stop crashing.

Vitantonio Liuzzi

Looking less like a cock than in previous years.

Sebastian Beumi

Actually, no idea.

Jaime Alguersuari

Ditto

Jarno Trulli

Scared to be alone

Heikki Kovalainen

Relieved to be away from those pesky winning teams

Karun Chandok

Um…

Bruno Senna

The biggest chance of disappointment on the gird only behind Schumacher

Pedro De La Rosa

His moment in the sun,the last time he raced in a Grand Prix Luca Badoer was a hot young thing.

Kamui Kobayashi

The bullet train as he’s now called.

Timo Glock

Running out of funny things about average drivers

Lucas Di Grassi

See above

As another year begins we have taken some time to predict exactly what we think will happen using all our skills and punditry

World Drivers Champion
Terry: Alonso
Kevin: Vettel

Constructors Champion
Terry: Ferrari
Kevin: Mercedes

First onair Swear
Terry: Webber
Kevin: Button

Bahrain GP:
Pole:
Terry: Hamilton
Kevin: Vettel

Winner
Terry: Webber
Kevin: Vettel

BBC pundit to fuck up
Terry Eddie Jordan
Kevin: Eddie Jordan

Eddie Jordans Shirt for race coverage
Terry: Blue silk with pattern
Kevin: Pink

Most Embarrassing new team fuck up
Terry: HRT lapped by themselves
Kevin: HRT not having uniforms

Leave your predictions in the comments

And we are out of hibernation

In this, the annual preview podcast we discuss the perils of the bahrain grand prix being on mothering sunday and how the F1 fraternity has kept the soap opera going in the off season with the shambolic new teams fiasco.

And we analyse the new teams, slag off the old ones (oh, and the new ones) and predict what the hell is going to happen with this possibly vintage (possibly disappointing) season

And Kevin and Terry do their predictions for the coming season…

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Duration: 25:23 Filesize: 12.2Mb | download |

After an age, the hungarian grand prix podcast finally goes up.

The sound quality is bad, we lost one version of it and we forgot most of what happened.

Just like Massa…

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Williams are still keeping up with the practice beating game, this time getting a 1-2 for Rosberg and Nakajima.

Previous experience tells us that this will mean utterly nothing, but they too have a lot of new bits on the car and this 1-2 is enough to leave me to leave rosberg on my fantasy F1.

We will soon find out if this was foolish or not.

Alonso got up to third, and we can expect his car to be empty but for some fuel fumes and a lot of love come qualifying.

Pos  Driver       Team                       Time              Laps
 1.  Rosberg      Williams-Toyota       (B)  1:21.588            43
 2.  Nakajima     Williams-Toyota       (B)  1:21.740  + 0.152   40
 3.  Alonso       Renault               (B)  1:21.781  + 0.193   36
 4.  Barrichello  Brawn-Mercedes        (B)  1:21.843  + 0.255   39
 5.  Webber       Red Bull-Renault      (B)  1:22.027  + 0.439   37
 6.  Button       Brawn-Mercedes        (B)  1:22.052  + 0.464   35
 7.  Vettel       Red Bull-Renault      (B)  1:22.082  + 0.494   45
 8.  Piquet       Renault               (B)  1:22.349  + 0.761   26
 9.  Buemi        Toro Rosso-Ferrari    (B)  1:22.571  + 0.983   17
10.  Raikkonen    Ferrari               (B)  1:22.599  + 1.011   40
11.  Bourdais     Toro Rosso-Ferrari    (B)  1:22.615  + 1.027   30
12.  Fisichella   Force India-Mercedes  (B)  1:22.670  + 1.082   32
13.  Hamilton     McLaren-Mercedes      (B)  1:22.809  + 1.221   31
14.  Kovalainen   McLaren-Mercedes      (B)  1:22.876  + 1.288   29
15.  Massa        Ferrari               (B)  1:22.878  + 1.290   35
16.  Kubica       BMW-Sauber            (B)  1:22.948  + 1.360   40
17.  Heidfeld     BMW-Sauber            (B)  1:23.173  + 1.585   39
18.  Glock        Toyota                (B)  1:23.360  + 1.772   46
19.  Trulli       Toyota                (B)  1:23.623  + 2.035   47
20.  Sutil        Force India-Mercedes  (B)