(slightly late, sorry, Terry ran a marathon and forgot to upload it)
In which they mock Mark Webber’s charitable singing voice, get bored of Schumacher reporting, annoyed by Jonathon Legard, impressed by the rain and, surprised by the stewards and smug about their itunes review
Technical gremlins have gotten into the anotherf1podcast KERS system and for some reason this was coming out at 6mins long. It’s not, it’s a 34min classic. So sorry if you’ve got this twice, or once, or never.
Red Bull gives you wins. Seb Vettel has pissed off Mark Webber by not only being the first Red Bull based winner in Toro Rosso last year, but also by trumping him to the first Red Bull Racing win.
Kevin and Terry don’t really discuss this though, instead talking about bloody aquaplaning, a disappointing Rosberg, a feisty Ross Brawn, a soon to sign on Nelson Piquet and a wound licky Ron Dennis in this the only podcast you’ll need for the chinese grand prix (unless you want actual facts and worthwhile opinion).
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Duration: 34:29 | Filesize: 31.6Mb | download |
Mark Webber today won the Best Actor award as he hid his utter hatred of Sebastian Vettel who has just waltzed in and bagged Red Bull’s first win after Webber has spent four years loosening the lid on the winning jar.
The race started in the wet behind the safety car, which is easily the most boring way to start a race, especially after the UK audiences getting up at 7am to sit through an hour of chat, the start sent most of us back to sleep.
Alonso was wide awake with panic though, he had just about enough fuel to get to the first corner. But Heikki relished the start, the safety car helping him get round the opening racing lap for the first time this year.
Nelson Piquet is doing what anyone does in a job they hate - trying to get fired, either that or his angling to play Frank Spencer in the Some Mother Do ‘Ave Em re-make.
Ferrari didn’t bother scoring a point, making this now their worst season start since 1981.
It kept raining, the safety car came again when Kubica tried to mount Trulli.
By the end of the race the Red Bull’s had the measure of the Brawns, iffy diffuser or not and Sutil was looking set to make the Ferrari’s the only team to have not scored a point, but the guilt of this got too much for him and he threw it into the wall.
After a bit or argy bargy the Bull’s were a headline writers dream (see how many times you read about a Bull in a China shop this week). And Vettel took his seconds win, surely no longer a star of the future, but just a star.
Classified: Pos Driver Team Time 1. Vettel Red Bull-Renault 1h57:43.485 2. Webber Red Bull-Renault + 10.970 3. Button Brawn GP-Mercedes + 44.975 4. Barrichello Brawn GP-Mercedes + 1:03.704 5. Kovalainen McLaren-Mercedes + 1:05.102 6. Hamilton McLaren-Mercedes + 1:11.866 7. Glock Toyota + 1:14.476 8. Buemi Toro Rosso-Ferrari + 1:16.439 9. Alonso Renault + 1:24.309 10. Raikkonen Ferrari + 1:31.750 11. Bourdais Toro Rosso-Ferrari + 1:34.156 12. Heidfeld BMW Sauber + 1:35.834 13. Kubica BMW Sauber + 1:46.853 14. Fisichella Force India-Mercedes + 1 lap 15. Rosberg Williams-Toyota + 1 lap 16. Piquet Renault + 2 laps Fastest lap: Barrichello, 1:52.592 Not classified/retirements: Driver Team Reason Sutil Force India-Mercedes Didn't want a point Nakajima Williams-Toyota Satnav broke Massa Ferrari Tantrum Trulli Toyota Buggery
7:47:28 AM: I’m awake for now, if the twiting stops you know what’s happened. Vettel just admited naming his car, ‘blanky’ or ‘dit dit’?
7:53:15 AM: I think DC just had to show his id to get on the grid. How the (almost) mighty have fallen
7:56:33 AM: Safety car start
7:56:34 AM: Jon Todt on the grid with a hooded jacket that makes him look like a Jawa. The stewards fearing for their driods and deploy the safety car.
7:59:23 AM: I hope ron dennis runs on naked and does a dirty protest
8:01:29 AM: What a start!
8:04:26 AM: Heikki has completed a lap!
8:07:13 AM: massa off baby duxidoodulum sweetheart xxxx
8:09:47 AM: Red flag and half points to tidy up the score sheet.
8:11:20 AM: I’m aqua planing, I’m aqua planing… Man up chumps.
8:42:42 AM: Trulli dry humped by Kubica.
9:04:17 AM: Nakajima’s sat nav is fucked.
9:32:38 AM: Button should have gone for inters
9:34:24 AM: If force india score a point then won’t it be only ferrari on zero?
9:41:37 AM: I think piquet will be replaced by his dad for the rest of the season
9:49:17 AM: Sutil runs like a girl
9:50:12 AM: May have dozed off did I miss much?
9:51:26 AM: That looked like christopher walken in the red bull garage.
9:52:41 AM: I think vettel has webbed feet and gills.
10:03:51 AM: @fakejenson does that gameboy make you overweight?
10:09:59 AM: Coultard it’s been raining for hours lose the sunglasses.
Ferrari’s incessant whining was drowning out even the awful music the Chinese race organisers where playing to try and distract from the fact the the grandstands had 12 people in them.
The whining failed to deliver any results as Red Bull got their first pole position (in a car with neither fancy diffusers nor KERS (pronounced KERS)) in the shape of 8 month old Sebastian Vettel beating his older team-mate Mark Webber (or Pops) to 3rd place.
Alonso came from precisely nowhere to split the Bulls in his Renault with a hastily sellotaped on double diffuser.
Hamilton got into the top 10, as did Raikkonen. But both their team-mates failed miserably.
But this weeks prize to dufus of qualifying has to go to Kubica who just didn’t really bother and popped home in Q3.
Pos Driver Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Laps 1. Vettel Red Bull-Renault 1:36.565 1:35.130 1:36.184 11 2. Alonso Renault 1:36.443 1:35.803 1:36.381 21 3. Webber Red Bull-Renault 1:35.751 1:35.173 1:36.466 19 4. Barrichello Brawn-Mercedes 1:35.701 1:35.503 1:36.493 21 5. Button Brawn-Mercedes 1:35.533 1:35.556 1:36.532 19 6. Trulli Toyota 1:36.308 1:35.645 1:36.835 21 7. Rosberg Williams-Toyota 1:35.941 1:35.809 1:37.397 23 8. Raikkonen Ferrari 1:36.137 1:35.856 1:38.089 19 9. Hamilton McLaren-Mercedes 1:35.776 1:35.740 1:38.595 17 10. Buemi Toro Rosso-Ferrari 1:36.284 1:35.965 1:39.321 21 11. Heidfeld BMW-Sauber 1:36.525 1:35.975 14 12. Kovalainen McLaren-Mercedes 1:36.646 1:36.032 10 13. Massa Ferrari 1:36.178 1:36.033 11 14. Glock Toyota 1:36.364 1:36.066 14 15. Nakajima Williams-Toyota 1:36.673 1:36.193 13 16. Bourdais Toro Rosso-Ferrari 1:36.906 10 17. Piquet Renault 1:36.908 10 18. Kubica BMW-Sauber 1:36.966 8 19. Sutil Force India-Mercedes 1:37.669 10 20. Fisichella Force India-Mercedes 1:37.672 10
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