The Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro team have decided to finally stop all of that chatter about them still subliminally advertsiing the Marlboro brand with their MArlboro shaped barcode on the cars and logo by revealing a brand new logo that doesn’t look at all like the fag packet.
or is it… 
Nothing alike, at least everyone will stop talking about it
They try to avoid talking about a certain Red Bull crash for as long as we can by discussing the “INFAMOUS TURN 8″, the cunt of the week, lotus stealing and Kevin and Terry doing some lip reading
The dullest race of the year wasn’t quite as dull as it always is. But Terry and Kevin squeeze some life out of Nick Fry’s balls and muck about like it’s the last day of term.
Massa’s ability is called into question, Ferrari’s F-duct is laughed at, Jenson gets the freedom of Frome, Terry does not get the same treatment from his home town.
Chandok get’s docked points for the Anthony Davidson Underdog Trophy Award and Lewis ruins his tyres again as Mr boring wins the race that suits him most and the boys uncover the fact that Eddie Jordan did not run the marathon
Proving once again that Mucky Max is all about the pain, David Coulthard has let out a torrent of words in his Telegraph column blaming the old spankee for all of F1’s ills after the Bah-Humbug Bahrain GP
Revs limited to 18,000rpm, the ban on in-race refuelling, standardised gearboxes and engines, a single tyre supplier; all initiatives introduced during his tenure at the FIA, all of which appear to have done little for the show if Bahrain is anything to go on.
Max is staying quiet on all of this, equally because he wants to be seen to have stepped away, and the ballgag rather precludes comment.
But in Max’s time we have had some of the dullest (Ferrari Domination) and most exciting (last few years) seasons in F1.
It’s true that his cost-cutting and standardisation is what’s caused a lot of this, but surely surely the rules and the fact that the teams have been allowed to say what those rules are contribute a bigger factor.
So maybe that’s his worst legacy, ironically, not being hard enough?
Alonso has gone out and won his first race for Ferrari, putting him right up there with some of the Prancing Horse greats (and Raikkonen) and helping to erase last years horrible anus for the team.
A Ferrari 1-2 was a shot in the arm for them, but mostly came at the expense of Vettel who had to drive around in car so tightly packaged it has to breathe in just to get the engine cover on and a broken spark plug acted like a butt plug for Seb*
But the main story of day really was that nothing really happened.
After a couple of great seasons with wonderful racing (sometimes) and going down to the wire, the changes to refueling and tyres seem to have not only spread the field right back out but also taught all the drivers to back off.
In what has been lauded (rightfully) as the most exciting season ever, with four champions on the grid, the cars close etc, etc. it’s hard to see quite how they’ve made it so dull.
Granted, Bahrain is not the best track in the world for overtaking anyway, but this race was hardly a fitting season opener for a season like this.
The refueling ban should have added a whole extra element of strategy to the randomness of the outcome and calls for people to pit, would the cleverer teams make good calls and cut that horrible overtaking in the pitlane nonsense?
No, the only significant overtaking (Vettel aside) was in the pits.
So now, running around like a chicken with its head cut off and to change the rules now is going to be knee jerk.But the problem perhaps is that the tyres are too good, Bridgestone need to add in some bits of glass to the mix or something to spark up the racing. As it stands the cars can all sail around for ages yet not want to go too fast in case they ruin the tyres.
It’s yet again the shortsightedness of the rulemakers, on paper tyres that fuck up are good for the show as people will have to pit more, in practice the teams will do their utmost to make sure they don’t fuck up the tyres. This was the kind of race where I was willing for a NASCAR style pace car to come up just to try and bunch up the pack.
The new teams did their bit, with only Pretend Lotus finishing. Showing that they may well be a proper midfield team by year end.
Can’t help but feel that they’ve gone and ruined F1, and only use hopeless addicts will stay tuned?
*this assuming that Seb doesn’t like butt plugs, if he does then this analogy doesn’t work so well.
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