Like every f1 related thing here is our guide to all the teams for 2010 - come back in 6 months when the predictions are grossly out of date.

McLaren

An all British lineup with two world champions should work out fine for McLaren as long as they totally forget what happened with Senna and Prost. And two big egos on equal footing can’t go wrong again like it did with Alonso and Hamilton… Can it?

After a dodgy start to 2009 they’ve cut away the deadwood (heikki) and will spend the most time this year of all teams putting their drivers in adverts.

Mercedes GP

Changing their name more than a stripper on the run from the law the former BAR/Honda/Brawn team aren’t going to pull out the big surprise like last year.

Their driver line up boasts more World Championships than McLaren, and that’s including Nico Rosberg

Now fully a german team in name, money and drivers ( though not location or staff) expect The Sun to talk up the rivalries between them and “our boys”

Red Bull

Fast but fragile last year. A perfect way to advertise the brand of drinks that makes you edgy and prone to making mistakes. The only team with the same lineup from this time last year let’s hope that Newey’s latest iteration of the car won’t have things flying off it easier that eczema flakes. Possible champions if they can keep it together and get a good nights sleep.

Ferrari

After last years horrible anus Ferrari are back with a world champion in the car, will Alonso demand that Massa take another spring in the face so he can win a race? Will they have some big fight tantrum? You bet they will. This team has so much latin anxiety pent up in it that the only reason the rest of the pitlane are keeping hold of their refueling uniforms is in case the ferarri team ends up in a bloodbath.

Force India

Surprised the world by not being totally shit last year. The aim this year must be again to be not completely shit again, and on the few times they look good the plan has to be to not crash

BMW-Sauber-Ferrari

BMW have bailed, but at time of writing they still have dibs on the name, though expect to see any logos being tarnished yellow by Peter Sauber’s drunken piss late at night. A car with so few sponsors on they’ve not even bothered covering the engine up, could be a fast car. Needs to be really

Toro Rosso

The first year that Toro Rosso have built their own car. So, if they’re good expect cries of cheating and intellectual property sharing. But they won’t be, this years aim is to repeat the non-glory days of minardi. Can they still remember how to be shit?

Williams

For the 10th year in a row we hope that Williams can get their winning ways back. But we are now aware that this is a foolish dream. Expect midfield fireworks once or twice, but otherwise depressing disappointment.

Renault

For the first time in years the Renault doesn’t have a vomit-ugly paint scheme. Nor does it have any sponsors, integrity or chance of winning.

Virgin

The first of the Jim’ll Fix It teams, expect them to be renamed Zavvi by the time the circus is back in Europe.

HRT

They wouldn’t be a laughing stock if they’d built a car, gotten some money, got things ready in advance or come with a sensible name… Oh.

Lotus

The team are trying to regain some of the Lotus glory days, but 4 seconds off the pace means they are reliving the Johnny Herbert days. Oh well